May 2012
13 posts
2 tags
May 28th
2 notes
2 tags
May 28th
100 notes
1 tag
May 28th
196 notes
1 tag
May 27th
1 note
1 tag
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to—
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy'? Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of—and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just—
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible—
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
May 22nd
38,172 notes
1 tag
May 22nd
133 notes
2 tags
May 21st
2 notes
1 tag
May 10th
1 tag
May 8th
6 notes
4 tags
May 7th
1 note
8 tags
May 6th
6 notes
5 tags
May 4th
32,830 notes
3 tags
May 3rd
22 notes
April 2012
7 posts
2 tags
Apr 17th
809 notes
2 tags
Apr 14th
106 notes
4 tags
Apr 14th
23,693 notes
2 tags
Apr 14th
11,941 notes
4 tags
Apr 10th
314 notes
2 tags
Apr 6th
27,083 notes
5 tags
Apr 5th
190 notes
March 2012
3 posts
1 tag
Mar 29th
52,838 notes
2 tags
Mar 23rd
1 note
7 tags
Mar 1st
31 notes
February 2012
7 posts
2 tags
Feb 28th
12 notes
3 tags
Feb 23rd
21 notes
4 tags
Feb 22nd
1 note
3 tags
Feb 21st
2 notes
Feb 15th
198 notes
1 tag
Feb 15th
158 notes
2 tags
Feb 9th
13 notes
January 2012
8 posts
3 tags
Jan 19th
13 notes
2 tags
Jan 10th
2,693 notes
Jan 8th
162 notes
3 tags
Jan 8th
108 notes
1 tag
Jan 8th
44,519 notes
2 tags
Jan 3rd
17,166 notes
Jan 2nd
276,764 notes
Jan 2nd
170 notes
December 2011
15 posts
1 tag
Dec 30th
29,052 notes
Dec 28th
45,504 notes
2 tags
Dec 27th
83 notes
4 tags
Dec 24th
22 notes
5 tags
Dec 24th
72 notes
Dec 23rd
7,771 notes
1 tag
Dec 23rd
23,031 notes
Dec 20th
4,625 notes
8 tags
Dec 19th
95 notes
The awkward moment when you have something...
every 5 seconds at school. 
Dec 17th
42,212 notes
2 tags
Dec 17th
64,277 notes
3 tags
WatchWatch
Waka Flocka? Oh bless!
Dec 7th
36,331 notes